My world used to be bright. Full of joy and laughter, full of pure happiness and contentment. But for more than half a year, I realise myself falling deeper and deeper into a dark, hollow well. A place I don't know how i got into myself.
I still can remember the days when people would poke fun at me and I would laugh at the stupid meaningless jokes they made. But now, I see myself feeling all steamed up in flames whenever a joke that I used to see meaningless was said. What am I becoming? Do I want to be a hot tempered bitch? Sometimes, I miss the old self I used to be. Now I wonder, was that person really me? Or is this bitch the real me? I feel easily depressed and emotional nowadays. Why am i becoming like that? It seemed as if I was suddenly possessed by something I don't want in my life at all. Yet, it seems so difficult to push aside.
Someone told me that the reason for me becoming what I am now is because I don't want to get hurt again. And to shield myself from pain, I've turned into something I actually don't want to become deep down inside. Well, that made sense. Actually, a whole lot of sense. But somehow, I can't help but to be the person I am now. I've become so used to it that I've forgotten how to be me in the past. I've lost contact with the person I used to be.
I'm falling deeper and deeper, so much so that I can't even help myself now....
Unveiled: Tamar
TheseAreAFewOfMyFavouriteThings_
Dark chocolate.
There's no need for explanations!
Counting money.
Who doesn't?
Art.
I love how the way you can express your emotions be it in a dance form or a piece of painting. And no words are needed for it! Awesome!
Semi-precious stones.
It's so much more unique..individualistic. There are so many different kinds of it around, just like how there are so many of us around and each and every one of us are different in our own good way.
Anything vintage.
Yes, there's a granny in me. Old things just makes me feel so much for it. Junk furniture, vintage flowery patchworked apparels and decor. All of it!
Old worn-out photographs.
Isn't it just heartwarming? To dig out those old photos that have been accumulating cobwebs in that small little dingy cupboard at that corner of your room, and just indulge in reminiscence.
Walking alone.
Sometimes, life is so tiresome and busy that I just want to take a slow stroll and let my poor sense of direction lead me to wherever it takes me and just admire everything else that's around.
My blanket aka nappy.
This is embarrassing...
Music.
I can just sit anywhere and listen to my mp3 for the whole day oblivious to my surroundings. It has this amazing ability to make me high and make me cry. I just wish that there's a mp3 out there with a longer lasting battery life.
Dance.
People who know me will know.
Friends.
Yes, the tv sitcom. Everyone loves it, no? I can watch it a million and one times and still find it funny. Hmm..who knows? Maybe all the twists and tangles in my life will end well. Just like Friends. Peace!
Crying.
Treatment: for extra relief and emotional detoxification. Side effects: may cause soreness, redness and sometimes harmful to one's pride.
Still, a highly recommended medication. Don't be a wussy and try it sometimes!
Shopping...
I know..I know..only girls will ever understand how it can actually be so highly therapeutic at times..*smirks*
The list goes on. There are so many things I love/love doing. Sometimes, you need the crazy dramatic things in life to make one truely see all the beauty that plays a part in it.
